..breaking barriers

Okay.. I have another problem... well its perhaps not as much a problem as it is a habit... No.. not really a habit.. its more a form of social protest... Yes that's it! Social protest. I'm all about breaking barriers and making a difference. (stop laughing) My issue... Segregation...yes.. Segregation is still quite alive and real in today's world...especially in the social scene. Let me elaborate for you...

I am by no means a club hopper.. but I do every now and then like to get out, let my hair down and hit a trendy lounge for a drink or three. Now some of these places that I frequent have what seems to be more and more common.. a famed V.I.P. room...

Personally, I don't really see the point of a V.I.P. room.. I mean think about it, what is really the purpose besides creating another revenue stream for a venue to siphon extra dollars away from its patrons under the illusion of exclusivity and prestige? Moreover, who doesn't think they are a V.I.P. anyway.. didn't we all watch enough Sesame Street in our youths to get the lesson that everyone is important, or was it special? or maybe beautiful? However the song goes, I just don't see the great need for the separation.

Anyway, last Friday, we (my happy hour crew) headed over to a lounge to keep the party rolling. Of course, unbeknownst to my crew, I engaged in my protest ritual -I entered the V.I.P. without any form of stamp, wrist band or other visual seals of approval. Most times, I just walk by the bouncer getting the nod of acceptance. Other times I simply smile and briefly chat with the bouncer and am soon thereafter allowed entry. =-O Now, most of my friends, with the exception of J-Lam, do not realize that I do this whenever there is a V.I.P. room in my vicinity. Actually, I specifically do this in DC because I feel like a VIP room in any club/lounge here is particularly absurd. NYC, LA, Miami I sort of leave alone, not that I agree with the concept... but DC? c'mon... why the separation? Can't we all just party together? sheesh..

Okay... so now you are wondering. WHY.. Why on earth do you feel so compelled to engage in such antics? There is no simple answer for that. I guess its my pinko, socialist method of creating more egalitarian society.

So for those of you who have never been to a V.I.P. room here in DC this is what you've missed..

1. Sometimes the scene includes a minor celebrity or an athlete (typically a bench warmer with plenty of unfounded ego and at-ti-tude to share -leaving one to wonder which came first the bench time or the drinking habit?) surrounded by a crowd text book shameless groupies drinking top shelf liquors at the bar.

2. Most of the time the scene is a bunch of guys who are desperately trying to emulate the above, but, not surprisingly, miss the mark and end up looking like total low budget rap video goobers.

3. Generally, the V.I.P room is just a smaller, less crowded version of whatever the rest of the club or lounge.

Now I will admit, that when the rest of the venue gets too crowded for me, the comfort of breathing space VIP room is a welcomed escape. Guilty as charged.

However, I tell you this with great confidence and authority -me being a partier on either side of the velvet rope, the VIP room experience is greatly overrated... you are NOT missing anything... trust me.

Besides that, the way I see it, any room that I am in IS the VIP room -if you don't know now you know. :-)

... enough with the brits already!!!

okay.. last dedicated post about the UUU-Kay...

There is one thing that I picked up which has become my most prized treasure from my travels. After the pub incident, I forgot to mention, we ran into a local CVS like pharmacy. Vee decide to grab some orbitz to make a dirty mouth feel clean. I however ventured out on the more adverntureous side and picked up some apple flavoured aquadrops (a flavour I have yet to see in the states).

Dare I say, these tasty treats are sweet with a hint of tartness yet somehow brillantly refreshing! Not to sound like a total Aquadrops commercial but hey if they are looking for perky charismatic american to endorse their product I am most certainly their gal!!!

I digress... anyway.. I'm down to my last 5 drops... *tear*... not sure how I will get along without my fix...

... beware

<----- ye olde dodgy pub..







FYI --- disturbing comment I have recieved mulitple times this week,
"you left the pub because of a little mouse?"

(thought to self, "is it customary to dine amongst vermin?") -- well yes apparently in a dodgy pub

Perhaps I should have tossed the wanker a chip with some malt vinegar and why not a swig of my lemon fanta to wash it all down.

ME: ***boggle***

...ye olde dodgy pub

... allo... So I'm back.... from the UUU-KAY... (before reading this visit this blog entry )

.. ahem.. now where was I? .. right-o...

So there we stood at the register, unsettled and shaken from our experience requesting our check. The barkeep of course is very curious to understand why we so aburptly ended our meal. Realizing there was still about 25 feet between me and the door, I covered my ears and turned away while Vee explained to the barkeep what she saw.

We promptly paid the check and quickly ran out of the pub into the bustling london streets. After getting about a block away from ye olde dodgy pub, I finally gathered up the courage to ask Vee what she saw. Verily disgusted and still shaken she began to explain that she witnessed something move in the very corner in which we sat. At first she thought it was small bird but then she observed that we were in a closed space. She looked more closely and realized that she was staring at a mouse... That's right the vile, ruddy, little wanker sat there in plain view snacking away on morsels on the pub floor. Bugger! Dirtin' eatin' UK style.. gross! Ruddy sod!

What's really gross is that we were thoroughly enjoying the meal? I can't tell what part of my judgement is off -- my ability to decipher a well made meal or my ability to select an eating establishment that meets health codes from the 21st century.

At any rate, we ended up heading down to Knightsbridge and hanging out at Harrods (my UK happy place). To be honest, you can spend the day in there and have a mini adventure as long as don't look at the prices for anything.. the sticker shock alone can be deadly. I highly recommend a proper British Tea experience on the terrace. Very nice indeed.

Sooo to help you get the image of lit-el mickey (that's little mickey with a brit accent), here are some interesting things that we learned and gossip that we heard during our travels...

- Allegedly at Harrods, Michael Jackson was there the day before shopping for a television... let be known if I had seen the KING of pop myself I would have passed out, started crying and/or started singing and dancing to smooth criminal..hee hee hee!

- Observation: Learning the slang and foul language makes every day conversation very entertaining... ruddy, sod, bugger, wanker ...ha!

- There is a difference between the subway and the underground or tube (metro for you DC'ers). Subway literally means subterrianian walkway. So if you want to get from one corner to another without cross the street you walk underground via a subway.

That's all I can think of right now... my brain still overloaded from the time zone change.

~Cheerio

in the UUUU-KAY

So.. we land... master the tube.. checkin to our hotel and and venture off into the streets of London in search of a proper fish and chips lunch. After a short 10 minute walk we happen upon a traditional pub --what better way to take in the local culture?

(NOTE: From what we have learned thus far in our anthropological excursion, it appear that in the UUU-KAY it is a customary practice for you to seat your own bloody rump at a table. Furthermore, in a pub, you have no waitstaff to coddle you.. it is up to you to discover the menu and place you order at the bar yourself.)

ahem.. I digress...

So fast forward 10 - 15 minutes... we are pleasantly surprised to learn that the wait staff will actually bring your meal to your table. (We were actually anticipating a shot from the barkeep to collect our meals). To our surprise the meal was exceedingly well prepared and equally delish. It included...

- chicken strips with a thai chili dipping sauce
- toasted goat cheese, served on a bed of greens
and of course never to forget...
- chips (that's french fries for you yanks)

We were thoroughly entralled with our meal, savouring each delectable bite. Proud of ourselves for figuring out that a dash of malt vinegar turns an otherwise too sweet british catsup into good ole ketchup. Did mention the refreshing lemon fanta that accompanied my meal... again.. I digress.

As I took healthy bite of my 2nd chicken strip, I glanced brief at Vee who had the distinct look of frozen horror and utter disblief stamped on her face. (those of you with weak stomach, I suggest you log off now)....Immediately I began to scrap the contents of my mouth into a napkin as I questioned with my eyes and a muffled mumble, "what? what? what is it Vee? What did you see". To which she replied, "oh hell no"

Needing no further explaination I immediately grabbed my Prada bag and headed to the bar to demand the check followed closely by Vee who was making her way across the pub booths strategically not allowing her Enzo Angolini boot to touch the pub floor.

Only when we reached the security of the register did I dare ask for the full story.....

... to be continued (being chased out by management)

click here to continue
~ Butterrfly

Am I stupid?

Sometimes... don't you stop and wonder if you are? I know I just did... I seriously sat here for the past 20 minutes trying to figure out how to log into my account and post a new entry... Finally I realized I was using the wrong user name/pass word combination. So no.. I'm not stupid.. perhaps a bit daft (had to through in the UK slang in honour of my current digs).

gripe

Okay.. I've been known to go overboard or rather wear myself out with details when it comes to planning events. I've been nicknamed "Moesha Stewart" by friends for my love of crafts. I will put that disclaimer out there. I'm human, I admit it. Here's the deal...

I'm helping to host a baby shower this Sunday. I picked up desserts as my responsibility. So of course I ordered a delish white chocolate mousse cake and some tartlets. But I thought to myself, "B, what else can you do to make this event special?". It came to me like a flash of light! Why not have baby themed decorated sugar cookies as a party favour. Genius, pure genius -not to mention incredibly cute.

So I started searching online for bakeries that provide this service. Finally I found a place just a few miles away from me. Now it would be catty of me to mention the bakery's name, but screw those bastards ...cookiesbydesign.com ...meow. Anyway, I went in on Monday to put in an order. The woman who was there was very polite and walked me through the choices and we drew up an order. Immediately following I realized that I didn't have any cash on me moreover they currently do not engage in electronic payment transactions. Since I wasn't about to submit to their archaic ritual (recording my credit card number and calling directly to the credit card company to place my order), the sales person just suggested I come back later that day or the next day to pay in cash. Which worked great for me.

Still with me? This is where the foolishness begins.

So yesterday I stop in to pay for my order. I walk in the door and no one is there to greet me with a sunny smile that you expect in a bakery. After about 30 seconds or so, someone comes out from behind. I inform the sales person that I'm there to pay for my order that was drawn up the day before. She then tells me to wait just a moment, that the manager would be right out to help me. So I stand there as the only physical customer in the the store.

Let's pause on a second here... how long is a moment? I think moment is 2 to 4 minutes..but 4 minutes at a maximum. Am I right?

Anyway...so I wait about 10 minutes by myself in the store. At this point slightly peturbed and I call out..."hello.. excuse me? Are you still there?" The same woman comes out and says, "oh the manager will be out soon... or maybe you can come back later?" I'm like, "no I can't come back later" (is it me or is gas entirely too expensive for that to even be an option...moreover..I have cash in my hand.. take it and give me a damned receipt.. okay.. calming down) I politely inform the women that I cannot come back later and that I simply just need to pay for my order. The woman goes in the back and after another 5 minutes the manager finally comes out.

are you keeping track?.. this is now 15+ minutes of being ignored.

Okay.. so the alleged manager comes out offering no apologies for my wait and spends another 5 minutes shuffling through paper then finally pulls out my order form. I take out my cash to pay for the order, she accepts it and gives me my change. Then tells me that she has to type the order into the computer (why do they even use a paper system to take the order when there is a computer right there? I have no idea) So after typing on the computer for a couple of minutes she claims that I was given the wrong price for my order (a difference of 12 cents). At this point i'm ready to get out of there so I give her the 12 cents and wait for her confirmation that everything is in order. She types on the computer again and says, "oh wait, you know she didn't charge you a setup fee or taxes or *** insert mystery fee here ***".

At this point I had been in the store for 25 minutes.. and this chick is quibbling with me over random charges. Is it me or is the transaction complete since she accepted my money? I got annoyed with her and stated that they have a very disorganized operation, mentioning the fact that I had now been in the store for almost half an hour. She says, "there is no need to get testy with me... I was busy on the phone taking an order for a customer". **boggle** I say to her, "I'm a customer physically here in your store, I should be given the same if not more consideration and service than the person on the phone". I went on to tell her that she was treating me unfairly and at the least she owes me an apology for keeping me waiting by myself for so long. She repeated in nasty tone, "There is no need to be testy"

I got so disgusted that I canceled my order and demanded my money back. Then informed the woman that she is rude and is not fit for management. I stormed out of there.. pissed of course.. After our argument, I'm sure she would have made sure to add some extra flavourings to my order... *ss flavoured cookies is not on my preferred list of desserts. Its all for the best.

So what about the cookies you ask? Well, once I have a vision it must be completed. I will be baking my own damned cookies. I'm going to the craft store to buy my own cookie cutters. I already have icing for the piping and decorations. To top it off, I'm going copy their (stupid cookie place) designs ... yeah take that rude cookie lady!!!

Cookie photos to follow!!! Stay tuned....

psst...

I get asked all the time.. "How do you stay so calm?". "Why aren't you bothered about this or that?", "Doesn't > get on your nerves?" "How can you find humour in this state of chaos?"

The truth is I have a true secret to maintaining my zen like state when dealing with family, friends but most especially co-workers. I'll share it with you if you have a moment. Whenever issues arise, that have the potential of driving me insane, I examine said issues by 1 solitary factor: will dealing with this issue bring additional value to my life in any way shape or form? If the response is no then the issue is filed within my coveted NMP (Not My Problem) file.

The good news is you can have one too!!! If you don't get how, when and why to use your NMP file, I honestly can't help you. It really takes a certain level of innate apathy and genuine desire to perserve one's sanity to truly actualize the value of an NMP file.

Once again, I must admit, I'm not the creator of the NMP concept. Its a long standing practice which has survived for generations, centuries perhaps. I was introduced to it by my good friend O.G. who learned of it from another NMP file holder. So I'm doing my duty within the cipher by passing on this practice.

DISCLAIMER: It is completely ill-advised, inappropriate but most of all completely NOT COOL to use an NMP file to excuse oneself from civic duties (e.g. voting, jury duty) and charitable endeavors (e.g. community service activities, donating).

You have been educated. Each one teach one.

On a more serious topic...

Like me, I'm sure that you have been reading the articles seeing the unbelievable footage of the damage caused by hurricane katrina. For me what's most tragic, the separation of families that has occurred as a result of this catastrophic storm and the emergency evacuation procedures. The headlines are heartbreaking...

"Katrina leaves children separated from their anguished parents"

"Reuniting kids with families proves to be a daunting task after Katrina"

"Reuniting families not easy"

My brain can hardly fathom the metal anguish and emotional exhaustion that the evacuees have been facing. I can't imagine the feeling of being totally alone -not knowing where my family is, whether or not they are alive or dead. Its just unthinkable.

But this blog entry is certainly not intended to be a downer. This is a feel good virtual location. I'm here to present you with a way to help. Well.. I didn't completely come up with it myself. My friend Justin, who is a total rockstar, actually organized the whole idea. But I get kudos by proxy for being friends with him :-)

Anyway, if you want to help, you can join the "KATRINA RELIEF: Five Days - Five Million Miles" movement. Yeah.. its bigger than a drive I'm calling it a movement. If you are like me and have airlines miles (any number will do) this is a perfect opportunity to put them to great use!!!

Show your compassion for your fellow Americans who really need you. Trust me, it feels great to know that you are part of the solution!

For more information, visit

http://www.fivedaysofdemocracy.com/

Thanks!!!

Confession

I really do think I have an addiction. Here's the thing I have no intent of EVER giving it up. Its not harmful in my opinion. I haven't had any adverese negative effects or damaging ramifications. I guess that is not entirely true... it can be costly on the pocket to get that high. But I don't care I need it.. the fact is the more I have it the more I want it.

Before you think I'm on crystal meth, crack cocaine or any other uncontrolled substance, let me put your mind at rest. I'm clean... very clean.. no drug or alcohol abuse of any kind going on over here. My addicition is ... *sigh*.. .spa treatments. I loooove to go to the spa. Massages, facials, salt scrubs, pedicures, you name it, I get it and love it.

A few months ago, I was brought to the verge of tears. That saying, "If Mohammed won't go to the mountain.. the mountain will come to Mohammed" came to fuition --a CANYON RANCH SPA in my very own backyard.. 2007 won't come soon enough!!!!! I read it in a washington post article a few months ago. *sigh*... seriously I can see myself moving in.. Lock stock and barrel..

I even have have my own personal rating system for spa's I visit. I consider it a hobby ...a pricey hobby .. but a hobby all the same. I've coined myself a "spa - noisseur".. yes that's right a connoisseur of spas. I know it all.

If only I could make a living from the knowledge I possess. That's were you come in.. please share any ideas you may have on how I can put this precious talent..knowledge.. hobby... to work for me.