gripe

Okay.. I've been known to go overboard or rather wear myself out with details when it comes to planning events. I've been nicknamed "Moesha Stewart" by friends for my love of crafts. I will put that disclaimer out there. I'm human, I admit it. Here's the deal...

I'm helping to host a baby shower this Sunday. I picked up desserts as my responsibility. So of course I ordered a delish white chocolate mousse cake and some tartlets. But I thought to myself, "B, what else can you do to make this event special?". It came to me like a flash of light! Why not have baby themed decorated sugar cookies as a party favour. Genius, pure genius -not to mention incredibly cute.

So I started searching online for bakeries that provide this service. Finally I found a place just a few miles away from me. Now it would be catty of me to mention the bakery's name, but screw those bastards ...cookiesbydesign.com ...meow. Anyway, I went in on Monday to put in an order. The woman who was there was very polite and walked me through the choices and we drew up an order. Immediately following I realized that I didn't have any cash on me moreover they currently do not engage in electronic payment transactions. Since I wasn't about to submit to their archaic ritual (recording my credit card number and calling directly to the credit card company to place my order), the sales person just suggested I come back later that day or the next day to pay in cash. Which worked great for me.

Still with me? This is where the foolishness begins.

So yesterday I stop in to pay for my order. I walk in the door and no one is there to greet me with a sunny smile that you expect in a bakery. After about 30 seconds or so, someone comes out from behind. I inform the sales person that I'm there to pay for my order that was drawn up the day before. She then tells me to wait just a moment, that the manager would be right out to help me. So I stand there as the only physical customer in the the store.

Let's pause on a second here... how long is a moment? I think moment is 2 to 4 minutes..but 4 minutes at a maximum. Am I right?

Anyway...so I wait about 10 minutes by myself in the store. At this point slightly peturbed and I call out..."hello.. excuse me? Are you still there?" The same woman comes out and says, "oh the manager will be out soon... or maybe you can come back later?" I'm like, "no I can't come back later" (is it me or is gas entirely too expensive for that to even be an option...moreover..I have cash in my hand.. take it and give me a damned receipt.. okay.. calming down) I politely inform the women that I cannot come back later and that I simply just need to pay for my order. The woman goes in the back and after another 5 minutes the manager finally comes out.

are you keeping track?.. this is now 15+ minutes of being ignored.

Okay.. so the alleged manager comes out offering no apologies for my wait and spends another 5 minutes shuffling through paper then finally pulls out my order form. I take out my cash to pay for the order, she accepts it and gives me my change. Then tells me that she has to type the order into the computer (why do they even use a paper system to take the order when there is a computer right there? I have no idea) So after typing on the computer for a couple of minutes she claims that I was given the wrong price for my order (a difference of 12 cents). At this point i'm ready to get out of there so I give her the 12 cents and wait for her confirmation that everything is in order. She types on the computer again and says, "oh wait, you know she didn't charge you a setup fee or taxes or *** insert mystery fee here ***".

At this point I had been in the store for 25 minutes.. and this chick is quibbling with me over random charges. Is it me or is the transaction complete since she accepted my money? I got annoyed with her and stated that they have a very disorganized operation, mentioning the fact that I had now been in the store for almost half an hour. She says, "there is no need to get testy with me... I was busy on the phone taking an order for a customer". **boggle** I say to her, "I'm a customer physically here in your store, I should be given the same if not more consideration and service than the person on the phone". I went on to tell her that she was treating me unfairly and at the least she owes me an apology for keeping me waiting by myself for so long. She repeated in nasty tone, "There is no need to be testy"

I got so disgusted that I canceled my order and demanded my money back. Then informed the woman that she is rude and is not fit for management. I stormed out of there.. pissed of course.. After our argument, I'm sure she would have made sure to add some extra flavourings to my order... *ss flavoured cookies is not on my preferred list of desserts. Its all for the best.

So what about the cookies you ask? Well, once I have a vision it must be completed. I will be baking my own damned cookies. I'm going to the craft store to buy my own cookie cutters. I already have icing for the piping and decorations. To top it off, I'm going copy their (stupid cookie place) designs ... yeah take that rude cookie lady!!!

Cookie photos to follow!!! Stay tuned....

psst...

I get asked all the time.. "How do you stay so calm?". "Why aren't you bothered about this or that?", "Doesn't > get on your nerves?" "How can you find humour in this state of chaos?"

The truth is I have a true secret to maintaining my zen like state when dealing with family, friends but most especially co-workers. I'll share it with you if you have a moment. Whenever issues arise, that have the potential of driving me insane, I examine said issues by 1 solitary factor: will dealing with this issue bring additional value to my life in any way shape or form? If the response is no then the issue is filed within my coveted NMP (Not My Problem) file.

The good news is you can have one too!!! If you don't get how, when and why to use your NMP file, I honestly can't help you. It really takes a certain level of innate apathy and genuine desire to perserve one's sanity to truly actualize the value of an NMP file.

Once again, I must admit, I'm not the creator of the NMP concept. Its a long standing practice which has survived for generations, centuries perhaps. I was introduced to it by my good friend O.G. who learned of it from another NMP file holder. So I'm doing my duty within the cipher by passing on this practice.

DISCLAIMER: It is completely ill-advised, inappropriate but most of all completely NOT COOL to use an NMP file to excuse oneself from civic duties (e.g. voting, jury duty) and charitable endeavors (e.g. community service activities, donating).

You have been educated. Each one teach one.

On a more serious topic...

Like me, I'm sure that you have been reading the articles seeing the unbelievable footage of the damage caused by hurricane katrina. For me what's most tragic, the separation of families that has occurred as a result of this catastrophic storm and the emergency evacuation procedures. The headlines are heartbreaking...

"Katrina leaves children separated from their anguished parents"

"Reuniting kids with families proves to be a daunting task after Katrina"

"Reuniting families not easy"

My brain can hardly fathom the metal anguish and emotional exhaustion that the evacuees have been facing. I can't imagine the feeling of being totally alone -not knowing where my family is, whether or not they are alive or dead. Its just unthinkable.

But this blog entry is certainly not intended to be a downer. This is a feel good virtual location. I'm here to present you with a way to help. Well.. I didn't completely come up with it myself. My friend Justin, who is a total rockstar, actually organized the whole idea. But I get kudos by proxy for being friends with him :-)

Anyway, if you want to help, you can join the "KATRINA RELIEF: Five Days - Five Million Miles" movement. Yeah.. its bigger than a drive I'm calling it a movement. If you are like me and have airlines miles (any number will do) this is a perfect opportunity to put them to great use!!!

Show your compassion for your fellow Americans who really need you. Trust me, it feels great to know that you are part of the solution!

For more information, visit

http://www.fivedaysofdemocracy.com/

Thanks!!!

Confession

I really do think I have an addiction. Here's the thing I have no intent of EVER giving it up. Its not harmful in my opinion. I haven't had any adverese negative effects or damaging ramifications. I guess that is not entirely true... it can be costly on the pocket to get that high. But I don't care I need it.. the fact is the more I have it the more I want it.

Before you think I'm on crystal meth, crack cocaine or any other uncontrolled substance, let me put your mind at rest. I'm clean... very clean.. no drug or alcohol abuse of any kind going on over here. My addicition is ... *sigh*.. .spa treatments. I loooove to go to the spa. Massages, facials, salt scrubs, pedicures, you name it, I get it and love it.

A few months ago, I was brought to the verge of tears. That saying, "If Mohammed won't go to the mountain.. the mountain will come to Mohammed" came to fuition --a CANYON RANCH SPA in my very own backyard.. 2007 won't come soon enough!!!!! I read it in a washington post article a few months ago. *sigh*... seriously I can see myself moving in.. Lock stock and barrel..

I even have have my own personal rating system for spa's I visit. I consider it a hobby ...a pricey hobby .. but a hobby all the same. I've coined myself a "spa - noisseur".. yes that's right a connoisseur of spas. I know it all.

If only I could make a living from the knowledge I possess. That's were you come in.. please share any ideas you may have on how I can put this precious talent..knowledge.. hobby... to work for me.

For starters

I'm not sure exactly why I just opened this blog. Seems very bizzare to just pour your thoughts into a public space for anyone to read. But I guess that's what people do. Its seems that everyone has a blog these days. As a faithful sheep I suppose I must follow the pop culture shepherd.

So here I am. Nothing spectacular to report... hopefully my next entry will be astoundingly profound or not.

Thanks for reading..

~butterrfly