THE 2006 BUTTERRFLY AWARDS!!! So I was thinking I have my own blog. Why not have my own awards show (featuring totally random catergories of course)... okay.. you may not see what a blog and an awards show has to do with anything.. but therein lies the point.. duh.. ('its all random' -- for the slow wits... keep up!)
So here we go.. oh and please hold your applause and commentary until the end of the program... now where was I? oh yes...ahem...
Best customer loyalty program goes to... DSW (a.k.a. "my mother ship")They know me well.. 10$ off coupon for my birthday, 15% 'we miss you' coupons when I've been away too long, 25 bucks every few months.. ah.. match made in heaven.. *sigh* we have some good times together.. good times..
Best Battlecry... "By the power of grayskull... I have the power" that's He-man for you unforunate ones (e.g. born post 1980 and/or deprived of cheesy day time cartoonage)
Biggest advancement in apparel design goes to.. all retailers featuring tagless tee's and undergarments (e.g. Banana Republic, Gap, Hanesetc...)In a word, "genius"
Best superbowl win of all time... Superbowl XXV: NYC Giants vs. Buffalo Bills! Haters be silent...especially redskins fans! :-P
Best nightlife... NYC hey... its the only city I know of that literally does not sleep... not that I take advantage of it whenever I'm there...
Best ice cream... Maggie Moo's I know some of you may be annoyed, bewildered or otherwise dumbfounded that cold stone creamery didn't make the cut. While I do appreciate coldstone for their couponing strategy (free cones on your b-day, discounts on cakes for holidays, etc).. I had one bad experience with a ice cream cake wherein I bit into a giangtic ice crystal.. yikes... yeah.. let's just end that there.
Best airline... Delta! say what you want, who cares if you are ever on time, once you hit gold medallion status its smooooth sailing with upgrades galor.. you can't beat that.. if you don't have gold status.. well.. it sucks to be you... :-P
Best bargain for cheapos like me... H&M Specifically the NYC stores.. they have H&M Couture, H&M Baby, H&M maternity,... I'm just waiting for H&M home.. then its all over!!!
Best TV theme song.. "This is it.. this is it.. this is life.. the one you get so go and have a ball.." this is the theme song from one day at a time -again for you unfortunate ones (e.g. born post 1980 and/or deprived of 70s/early 80s prime time TV)
Most fantabulous 'every woman' woman goes to.. OPRAH!! C'mon...no explaination necessary... she's a modern day superhero!
Smartest president of my lifetime goes to.. Jimmy Carter before you under informed history hoi polloi try to argue with me.. read up.
Dumbest president of my lifetime goes to.. well.. let's save that one for off line convos.. :o)
Best Law of the Land goes too.. any state, city, county, local juridication that has employed public no smoking laws. I believe that includes LA; NYC; Mont. County, MD; P&G, MD;.. DC is soon to follow I believe. My clothes, hair and lung thank you Mr and Ms. Lawmaker!
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Disclaimer.. don't be upset if you didn't get an award this time around... remember its an honor just to be nominated.. not that there is a formal nomination process.. if at first you don't succeed.. eh screw it **************************************************************************************************
Best next 'it' phrase goes to.. Vee Gee! phrase: "stay in your lane"... oh its not just for your everyday traffic snafu... it can and should be used to reprimand anyone of inappropriate behavior.. e.g. a size 26 wearing woman in a string bikini.. ugh..for the love of ... please stay in your lane and don a skirted onesie... or a size -4 wearing woman in a string bikini... please do us all a favor, stay off the beaches and stay in the fast food lane supersizing all the way... lest we be cut by one of your protuding bones from your gastly skeletal frame...go eat a sandwich, with extra mayonaise!!!
Best high rolling-vegas trippin-texas hold 'em gambler... Paolo! hey.. he's the only person I know that has been in the ESPN World Championship of poker... cue to music: We trying to stay alive, wyclef jean and the fugee all star version
Coolest job... E-ROB! Designing marketing events where the pussycat dolls are the headliners... it really doesn't get better than that.. ;-) singing to myself.. don'tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me.... don'tcha?
Hippest artsy/urban/psuedo hip-hoppity website.. http://www.dorkmag.com/
Hottest promoter .. www.myspace.com/thesispromotions
Best botox fix... www.dermacareusa.com/loc-brooklynheights.html How do you think I keep my fresh vibrant youthful look? Just jokes, its all in the DNA folks!
Best Blog... beebutterrfly.blogspot.com c'mon! ya know this!
That concludes the awards show program... thank you and good day!
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2 comments:
I personally voted for DSW in BEST customer loyealty program of the year. Gals to see they won.
I think you are missing a category though, best fix it b-friend/ husband goes to Mr. Bhola (shamless plug for my sweets) as he has an advanced network of repair people.
(NO, she didn't jack my post to plug her b-friend!! LOL!)
***SKA-REAM!!!*** Oh my GOSH!.. oh my gosh... I can't believe I made it.. like me.. "Vee Gee" getting an ACTUAL Butterfly Award..it's...it's.. A-MAY-ZING! I never thought that "stay in your lane" would get so big so fast..OK..OK.. so first I'd like to thank God.. of course.. but also special shout outs to the numerous ill informed walking fashion (and other assorted) faux pas.. that give me the inspiration to do what I do.. I mean come on folks.. you just can't make some of this stuff up! Double Denim.. grown women in one-zies and tights in colors suitable only for pre-schoolers..(and by "tights" I don't mean the tres chic fishnets of the millenium that come in an array of fantstically delicious hues which I have been known to don on a consistent basis during the Autumn months.. and OK..the occasional chilly spring day - but I digress) NOTE: special "big ups" to the Bee Butterfly for bringing to light those specific issues particularly the dreaded "onezie"
Anywhoo...
They're playing the music.. which I guess means my time is up.. but before they drag me off this stage by my ankles... thanks again to the academy..albeit of one- who voted to give me the award.. in closing to any fashion victims out there... its not too late! To other miscallenous violaters of the "lane policy" - for goodness sake.. please stay off the highways, main thorough-fares and thruways.. for the love of God... just stick to the back roads where your trangressions can remain off the grid... cuz if I see it..I'm shouting ya out.. good night e'ry body..
"Stay in yo' lane... stay in yo' lane!"
(exit stage right)
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